The Effects of Divorce.
Divorce is a life altering event that can seriously impact your financial, emotional, and social well being. The reality of no longer having that person in your life that has been there from the time you woke up to the time you went to bed is difficult. Even if the relationship was difficult and you could no longer get along with each other, there was still another person bearing witness to your life. You shared so many memories and accomplishments with another person and now that person is gone.
The impact o f divorce can be worse than if your partner had suddenly died. This is because your life as you know it has changed suddenly and drastically. The person you shared your life and home with is no longer available. Your friends and coworkers may not be as understanding of your feelings during your divorce. And the worst part is that unlike death, you and your partner chose to end the relationship. The other person is still walking around and out there somewhere but you are no longer able to snuggle up to them at night or call them during work. All the small little details that are overlooked are suddenly a big thing when you can no longer share them with your significant other.
Divorce is painful for everyone involved and that is especially true for children. Their young minds cannot comprehend exactly what is going on and more often than not they honestly and truly believe that it is their fault that mom or dad is no longer a part of the family. They also have fears that the custodial parent will walk away one day as well, leaving them all alone. Even in situations where it was worse to stay together, children are hugely impacted by the separation. It is imperative to their emotional well being to take the time to discuss the divorce with them in a way they can understand; no matter how much you are hurting. Avoid things like we just don’t love each other anymore. This signals that if you stopped loving your spouse, they maybe you will stop loving them as well.
Financially a divorce will affect both households. Previously your incomes together made a home, now your incomes need to create two homes. There will be an adjustment period for all involved as the financial shift from joint finances is separated into two mortgages, two households, child support, or alimony. If the wife was previously a stay at home mom, this will probably no longer be feasible. There will be a huge financial shift with the added expense of daycare, transportation, and other work related expenses.
Divorce is a sticky messy situation for everyone. It is important to discuss the process with children and family members. Do not try to be secretive or cover it up. Talk honestly with your children and set out a clear financial budget so that everyone understands the financial shift that will be taking place.
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